The Hitman’s Guide (Books 1-5) – Alice Winters Free Audiobook

Written by Alice Winters
Read by Michael Ferraiuolo
Format: M4B
Bitrate: Mixed
Unabridged

The Hitman’s Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love

What happens when a snarky hit man and a by-the-book PI cross paths?

Leland
Being a hit man has its perks, but I never thought getting an accidental mooning by an attractive PI while he’s caught on a fence would be one of them. While it’s not exactly love at first sight, he’s captured my interest and won’t let go.

Suddenly, I find myself caught in a game of cat and mouse, determined to attract the attention of Jackson, the PI who should be my enemy. He pretends like he’s not flattered by my flowers and the mentions of my totally-not-fictitious blow-up doll, Randy (or was it Dandy?), but I know better. Why else would he be teaming up with me to bring down Hardek, one of the city’s most ruthless criminals?

Jackson
Even though the cops are telling me that the hit man is a notorious contract killer, I can’t help but admit that I’m drawn to him. He’s funny, charismatic, and attractive. There’s no way this ridiculous man can be the person the cops are after.

But when Leland ends up at my doorstep injured, I’m faced with a tough choice. It’s my duty to hand him over to law enforcement, but my heart has other plans. I want to keep him. To protect him. To be with him.

Though one question remains: Why in the world does the man have so many d*mn guns?

Contains: shenanigans on a swing that you would not find at a playground, a car chase that sadly doesn’t have flips or explosions, a horsey ride sans horse, cuddles, an exuberant mutt, a suspicious chief of police, and lots and lots of laughs.
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The Hitman’s Guide to Staying Alive Despite Past Mistakes

Jackson

Now that Leland’s decided to give up his life as a hitman and take a walk on the mild side, we’ve been enjoying a simple life of taking down bad guys the legal way. I didn’t know he would be just as reckless as a PI, but it’s not my fault if I happen to enjoy helping him hunt down the occasional criminal. If only I could keep the house from being overrun by Leland’s gun shrine – or stop him from making our cases “more exciting” by terrorizing people into confessing. Overall, life seems perfect, right?

Wrong.

We’ve been called in to investigate a suspicious murder committed by someone claiming to be the Sandman. When we find a note on the victim’s body, we realize that this could ruin our lives forever.

Leland:

I wasn’t involved in the murder. It might look like my writing and my note, but I wouldn’t do that to Jackson -especially after I promised him that I wouldn’t take a hit ever again. At least, not without telling him. I’m finally starting to learn that we’re stronger together, and I’m not going to jeopardize that.

Luckily for both of us, this copycat doesn’t know who he’s dealing with. Game’s on, fake Sandman. You think you can mess with me? Well, maybe you can, but that’s beside the point, because I will protect Jackson no matter what, even if I almost drown him in the process. (Really, that wasn’t my fault. He should learn how to swim better.)

This audiobook contains: Disco ball piñata, camping with Sasquatch, an acrobatic housekeeper named “Mr. Cleanyface”, a questionable massage table, weapons everywhere, Jackson’s nemesis – the fence, a turkey showdown, aerial silk antics, a reappearance of Blow-up Randy, over-the-top body armor, too many hitmen, and so many emotions that Leland’s chest might explode. This is the second book in a series – while you could listen and enjoy it on its own, you really should listen to The Hitman’s Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love for maximum enjoyment.
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The Hitman’s Guide to Tying the Knot Without Getting Shot

Leland

Is a nice little wedding with Blow-up Randy and Jackson My Love too much to ask for? Clearly, because someone’s trying to kill one of us…again. Generally, this would be my thing and I would jump right in singing my murder song, but they want Jackson dead and I will do anything (and I mean anything) to keep him alive – including and not limited to: 10 Dobermans, bulletproof glass, and dragging Cassel in with the promise of more Jerebear. These people have no idea what they’ve done targeting the man I love because I’m coming after them. But when it feels like everything might be lost, I start to understand that I have a family now who will stand by my side and do everything they can to make sure we end this on our terms.

Jackson

When someone attacks me, it’s clear they want something from me. The issue is that I have no idea who they are or what they’re after. And if I don’t figure it out soon, I’m afraid Leland is going to smother me with his overprotectiveness (or put me in a bubble at the top of a tower). The issue is that time is ticking and with the price tag on my head, there’s no telling who is coming for me or when. Together, Leland and I have to decipher who is telling the truth in this game of life or death because I have plans to marry the man of my dreams, and no one is going to stop me – especially with Leland by my side.

This book contains humor, action, romance, bad behavior on a golf course, sort of abducting a child who lacks kung fu power, enough car chases and shooting to make even Leland happy, and spontaneous singing.
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The Hitman’s Guide to Righting Wrongs While Causing Mayhem

Leland

Growing up, I was taught that getting too close to someone would be my downfall. But I’ve proven that wrong now that I’m happily married to Jackson, the greatest man in the world. The issue is that mayhem always seems to find me (which is definitely not my fault), and this time, it comes in the form of a woman looking for her daughter. What starts as a simple missing persons case turns into so much more, forcing me to rely on my found family and others, including a muscly “bear” who will definitely not whisk away my husband with his irritatingly sexy accent—I mean, yes, I’m very focused on this case…. Jackson, don’t look at me like that.

Jackson

While Leland is “code potatoing” (whatever that means on his strange cheat sheet), I’m left questioning what he’s gotten himself into this time. At least he’s willing to let me assist him, even if he’s still positive that I should just “sit pretty” and let him handle everything. But with the girl missing, he knows we need to work together to determine whose game we’re playing because not everything is as it seems. Of course, when one gets involved with Leland, nothing is ever simple. But maybe that’s just the way I like it.

Contains: speed walking up way too many stairs while holding pointy objects, feel-better cookies that didn’t turn out quite right, Spanish that definitely isn’t Spanish, and lots of long-suffering people being swept up in Leland’s shenanigans once more.
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The Hitman’s Guide to Codenames and Ill-Gotten Gains

Leland

Stopping a robbery was only the beginning—to fun, action-filled mayhem. Jackson’s afraid that I’m running headfirst into trouble (again), but I’m not… I’m running gun-first into it. When one of the robbers who’s really just a kid comes begging for my help, I definitely have no choice but to help him.

The kid is convinced his brother has been wrongly accused, and while Jackson My Love might be over there going, “You were hired to look into it, not to go undercover, sink a boat, and hunt down a gang,” I feel like he’s simply confused… because I’m gonna hunt down TWO gangs (and is that a car chase I see?).

Jackson

A simple “Whodunnit” turns into us being targeted by multiple bad guys as we run after them instead of away from them, dragging Cassel and Henry—and some others—along for the ride. I really can’t be the only one who sees the issue here, but… as I watch them race into danger, I’m starting to think I am.

Loving Leland comes easy, but keeping him safe doesn’t because there’s someone trailing Leland who might want to hurt him. The problem is that as Lucas strings us along and tales begin to become tangled, it’s hard to tell who is right and who is wrong.

Contains: Lifejackets used to protect all the wrong things (Leland: all the RIGHT things), the greatest tragedy of ALL TIME (involving The Fence) (even if Jackson doesn’t think so), and the kind of friends that make you realize you don’t need enemies.